I'm 31!...Recap of my birthday festivities

Well my friends, I'm 31!  On Friday night, October 21st, I went out with a small group of friends on my birthday eve.  There's Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, so I thought, I will have a Birthday Eve.  It's Monday now and I can't keep stop thinking about how much fun I had.

The evening started at B.B. Kings with a concert by one of my favorite groups from the 90s...En Vogue.  Yes, EN VOGUE.  All four of them performed...Dawn, Cindy, Terry and Maxine...Nicole helped me remember their names.  Four of my friends came with me...Nic, Court, Marsha and James. Nic, Court and James and I stood semi-close to the stage on the main floor and we JAMMED!  En Vogue still had that great sound.  All four of the women can sing, or shall I say...sang.  They did their hits, a medley of oldies and ended with some more of their hits.

I loved how well En Vogue performed, but what I loved most was being around my friends as we collectively rocked and sang along to the music. Courtney got down to "Don't Let Go", Nicole and I relived our college days through "Giving Him Something He Can Feel" and  I even heard James singing along throughout the night. He has made it very clear that he won't sing when we do karaoke and even though he sings in his church choir, he claims he isn't good.  So it was a shock to actually HEAR him.

After the concert we went to Katwalk Bar & Lounge where we were later joined by Mia, Maya, Danielle, Jinyoung and Jeanette.  It was free to get in, the music was pretty good and best of all, I had my friends with me. One of the things I love about my friends is that, for the most part, they don't have difficulty getting along with each other. I don't have to spend time making the rounds to drum up conversation between everyone...it just happens organically.

So we talked, didn't get food because the kitchen was closed (grrrrr), danced, complained about a throw up smell that was emanating from a certain section, purchased and got drinks for others using power hour (all the well drinks you can get from 10 - 11pm) bracelets and of course, we took pictures.  I was already having a fantastic time, but then James surprised me with a bottle of champagne for a Ladies Night, which sadly meant that he was leaving, but the gesture was really sweet and hanging with my girls was nice.  The drinks continued and we danced the rest of the night away.  I stayed out until 1, which is a big deal for me.  I usually put myself on a train and go home, but this time I took the last train out of NYC back to Mt. V and was happy I made that decision.

Nicole said that there is something about the 31st birthday that leads to a good time. Don't get me wrong, I loved my 30th birthday because it was my chance to celebrate with so many friends from all stages of my life and to treat them to good food and dessert.  But for my 31st, all "pressure" was gone. I kept it small, didn't worry about having the perfect outfit and partied the Shay Shay way.  Much love to everyone who celebrated with me and wished me well.  I'm looking forward to 32!

What can you do on a Saturday night, alone?

"So what can you do on a Saturday night, alone?

Who needs a view on a Saturday night, alone?

If it's a Saturday night and you are single,

You sit with a paper and fight the urge to mingle.

And home is a place where you gotta go back, alone.

Home is a place where the future looks black, alone.

I like the Sunday Times all right, but not in bed.

Alive and alone on a Saturday night is dead!"

It's Sunday morning right now, but as I was driving back home last night from the gym, this song popped into my head.  I first heard it on a compilation CD called "Marry Me A Little." The CD featured songs Stephen Sondheim musicals, some of which been cut out of musicals.  The lyrics were were written in the 1950s, but the plight of single people is clearly timeless.

Usually my Saturday daytime is packed with activity.  I'm either working the front desk at MTC, volunteering at Dress for Success or doing something else.  So yesterday, a day with nothing scheduled, was a rare treat for me.  I slept late, did some shopping, napped, then went to the gym.  But whether I'm busy during the day or not, my Saturday nights are usually pretty "dead."

I don't really have friends in Westchester and really don't know of any "spots" to frequent.  I do know the City well enough, but after I've been downtown five days of the week, my interest in hanging out down there in the evening is low. I'm young and single...shouldn't I be out mingling? The fact is, I'm not bothered by staying in on Saturday nights.  I like my new house and after a week of seemingly endless work, errands and responsibilities, a night at home is nice...so what that it's on a Saturday.  But I do like activity and probably would enjoy being out on Saturday night, if, I was out and about with someone.  So that means I have to find someone, other than my friends to go out with, which means, drum roll please...I'm going to online date again.  Maya and I have discussed this and Matthew says I just need to go out more, and both of them are right. but I think, if I online date, I'll go out more...both problems solved!

So stay tuned...I've done Match and OkCupid before, so this time I think I'm going to sign up for How About We, since their focus seems to be about going ON the date.  Let me know if you recommend any other online dating sites, and I'm sure I'll start having some dating stories to share.

Wigs and Braids and Weaves...Oh My!

School is back in session and a smile came to my face a few days ago as I saw two little girls sitting on the bus with their mothers.  Yes, it was sweet to see them eager to head to school, but I was smiling because of their hair.  They had cornrows without extensions  and it reminded me of how my mother would do my hair.  The pattern wasn't too elaborate, but it wasn't going straight back and the ends had been curled. Sure, their hair wasn't long, nor was it super full, but it was nice nonetheless.  I've grown tired of seeing little black girls with yarn-like or plasticky extensions, looking ridiculous on their little heads and necks, tightly pulling their hair and likely setting them up for a lifetime with thin or bald edges that they'll spend all their life trying to grown in by using braids and weaves -- it's a vicious cycle.

Working up in Harlem, I am in awe of the array of hairstyles on the women and men on the street.  I'm assaulted by the African ladies who scream "BRAID?!? Braid Miss?" and I'm enticed by the Asian-owned black hair supply stores selling creams, gels and human hair on practically every block.  Hair, hair and more hair.

The one thing I find most crazy when I'm in Harlem (or any primarily black neighborhood) is the number of people walking around with bad weaves.  What is a bad weave?  A bad weave looks like a wig, or like plastic hair, or it's too long or ratty or it doesn't blend with the person's real hair.  Every time I see someone walking around with a bad weave I think, "Do you want long hair so badly that you would rather walk around looking how you look, rather than show your own hair?"  It fascinates me.

I saw Chris Rock's movie, Good Hair which skimmed this issue. I know it was a comedic documentary, but I wish that he had just interviewed women wearing wigs, (which doesn't really bother me), and with weaves and just said..."Why? Why?"

People should do what they want with their hair whether keeping it natural, relaxing it, braiding it, wigging it, locking it or weaving it, and if these women with bad weaves think their hair looks good, we all would be better to have their confidence.  Let's just say I'll take an order of extreme confidence, hold the bad weave.