DONE!

Since I'm 31 there are few things that I'm checking off as being done with:

DONE with Thongs
Last week I thought I was packing a certain pair of undies in my gym bag.  After working out, I took my shower and then got the rudest shock when I realized that I had packed a thong.  ARGH!  I don't need to walk around all day with a wedgie for the sake of have no panty lines.  If I have on something super tight, which happens rarely, I will wear seamless undies or a g-string. G-strings, which according to wikipedia are a type of thong, use an elastic string, instead of a piece of fabric that is 3/4" wide and gets stuck in my booty.  So I'm done...

DONE with Tattoos
These days it seems like tattoos are all the rage.  Men (and women) are covering themselves with tattoos.  Well-known folks like Lil Wayne and Kat Von D, chefs on Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen, a lot of basketball players, and so on, are covered nearly head to toe with tattoos. Average men and women are doing the same thing. I appreciate the craft and skill shown by the tattoo artist, but more often than not, if someone has more than one visible tattoo, it's distracting.  So I'm done...  I'm going on record as saying that I don't find excessive tattoos cool or beautiful, and if you have a lot of tattoos and I'm having a hard time staying focused when talking to you, or if I'm looking away, now you know why.

DONE with Miss Maude's Spoonbread Too
Miss Maude's is a soul food restaurant up the street from where I work.  I've eaten there a few times and the food, when they have what is on menu, is pretty good. But my issue with the establishment is that they DO NOT always have menu items, namely the chicken salad sandwich, available. I've had their chicken salad sandwich twice in the two years since I've worked in Harlem, and I like it because it tastes like my mom's. The sandwich when paired with some fresh french fries...yum!...really is a lovely lunch. I've called the restaurant about 8 other times to order the sandwich for lunch and they NEVER have it. Here is the dialogue:

Me: Hi! Do you have the chicken salad sandwich today?
Spoonbread Lady Behind the Counter: No. We do not.
Me: [sigh] Ok...bye.   

There are two things that bother me:

1. Why doesn't Spoonbread have chicken salad? Fried chicken, BBQ Chicken, Smothered Chicken, Jerk Chicken...all kinds of chicken...are on the menu. Cole slaw is served as a side, which means they have mayo. So why can't the chef chop up some of the chicken, add mayo and MAKE CHICKEN SALAD?!? 
2. Why is chicken salad sandwich a menu item? Spoonbread rarely has it, so just take it off the menu. Make it a chalkboard special!

So I'm done with Miss Maude's Spoonbread Too...there are no shortage of soul food restaurants, I'll go somewhere else and I'll make my own chicken salad or ask mommy to make some for me.  :)

I'm 31!...Recap of my birthday festivities

Well my friends, I'm 31!  On Friday night, October 21st, I went out with a small group of friends on my birthday eve.  There's Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, so I thought, I will have a Birthday Eve.  It's Monday now and I can't keep stop thinking about how much fun I had.

The evening started at B.B. Kings with a concert by one of my favorite groups from the 90s...En Vogue.  Yes, EN VOGUE.  All four of them performed...Dawn, Cindy, Terry and Maxine...Nicole helped me remember their names.  Four of my friends came with me...Nic, Court, Marsha and James. Nic, Court and James and I stood semi-close to the stage on the main floor and we JAMMED!  En Vogue still had that great sound.  All four of the women can sing, or shall I say...sang.  They did their hits, a medley of oldies and ended with some more of their hits.

I loved how well En Vogue performed, but what I loved most was being around my friends as we collectively rocked and sang along to the music. Courtney got down to "Don't Let Go", Nicole and I relived our college days through "Giving Him Something He Can Feel" and  I even heard James singing along throughout the night. He has made it very clear that he won't sing when we do karaoke and even though he sings in his church choir, he claims he isn't good.  So it was a shock to actually HEAR him.

After the concert we went to Katwalk Bar & Lounge where we were later joined by Mia, Maya, Danielle, Jinyoung and Jeanette.  It was free to get in, the music was pretty good and best of all, I had my friends with me. One of the things I love about my friends is that, for the most part, they don't have difficulty getting along with each other. I don't have to spend time making the rounds to drum up conversation between everyone...it just happens organically.

So we talked, didn't get food because the kitchen was closed (grrrrr), danced, complained about a throw up smell that was emanating from a certain section, purchased and got drinks for others using power hour (all the well drinks you can get from 10 - 11pm) bracelets and of course, we took pictures.  I was already having a fantastic time, but then James surprised me with a bottle of champagne for a Ladies Night, which sadly meant that he was leaving, but the gesture was really sweet and hanging with my girls was nice.  The drinks continued and we danced the rest of the night away.  I stayed out until 1, which is a big deal for me.  I usually put myself on a train and go home, but this time I took the last train out of NYC back to Mt. V and was happy I made that decision.

Nicole said that there is something about the 31st birthday that leads to a good time. Don't get me wrong, I loved my 30th birthday because it was my chance to celebrate with so many friends from all stages of my life and to treat them to good food and dessert.  But for my 31st, all "pressure" was gone. I kept it small, didn't worry about having the perfect outfit and partied the Shay Shay way.  Much love to everyone who celebrated with me and wished me well.  I'm looking forward to 32!

What can you do on a Saturday night, alone?

"So what can you do on a Saturday night, alone?

Who needs a view on a Saturday night, alone?

If it's a Saturday night and you are single,

You sit with a paper and fight the urge to mingle.

And home is a place where you gotta go back, alone.

Home is a place where the future looks black, alone.

I like the Sunday Times all right, but not in bed.

Alive and alone on a Saturday night is dead!"

It's Sunday morning right now, but as I was driving back home last night from the gym, this song popped into my head.  I first heard it on a compilation CD called "Marry Me A Little." The CD featured songs Stephen Sondheim musicals, some of which been cut out of musicals.  The lyrics were were written in the 1950s, but the plight of single people is clearly timeless.

Usually my Saturday daytime is packed with activity.  I'm either working the front desk at MTC, volunteering at Dress for Success or doing something else.  So yesterday, a day with nothing scheduled, was a rare treat for me.  I slept late, did some shopping, napped, then went to the gym.  But whether I'm busy during the day or not, my Saturday nights are usually pretty "dead."

I don't really have friends in Westchester and really don't know of any "spots" to frequent.  I do know the City well enough, but after I've been downtown five days of the week, my interest in hanging out down there in the evening is low. I'm young and single...shouldn't I be out mingling? The fact is, I'm not bothered by staying in on Saturday nights.  I like my new house and after a week of seemingly endless work, errands and responsibilities, a night at home is nice...so what that it's on a Saturday.  But I do like activity and probably would enjoy being out on Saturday night, if, I was out and about with someone.  So that means I have to find someone, other than my friends to go out with, which means, drum roll please...I'm going to online date again.  Maya and I have discussed this and Matthew says I just need to go out more, and both of them are right. but I think, if I online date, I'll go out more...both problems solved!

So stay tuned...I've done Match and OkCupid before, so this time I think I'm going to sign up for How About We, since their focus seems to be about going ON the date.  Let me know if you recommend any other online dating sites, and I'm sure I'll start having some dating stories to share.

Wigs and Braids and Weaves...Oh My!

School is back in session and a smile came to my face a few days ago as I saw two little girls sitting on the bus with their mothers.  Yes, it was sweet to see them eager to head to school, but I was smiling because of their hair.  They had cornrows without extensions  and it reminded me of how my mother would do my hair.  The pattern wasn't too elaborate, but it wasn't going straight back and the ends had been curled. Sure, their hair wasn't long, nor was it super full, but it was nice nonetheless.  I've grown tired of seeing little black girls with yarn-like or plasticky extensions, looking ridiculous on their little heads and necks, tightly pulling their hair and likely setting them up for a lifetime with thin or bald edges that they'll spend all their life trying to grown in by using braids and weaves -- it's a vicious cycle.

Working up in Harlem, I am in awe of the array of hairstyles on the women and men on the street.  I'm assaulted by the African ladies who scream "BRAID?!? Braid Miss?" and I'm enticed by the Asian-owned black hair supply stores selling creams, gels and human hair on practically every block.  Hair, hair and more hair.

The one thing I find most crazy when I'm in Harlem (or any primarily black neighborhood) is the number of people walking around with bad weaves.  What is a bad weave?  A bad weave looks like a wig, or like plastic hair, or it's too long or ratty or it doesn't blend with the person's real hair.  Every time I see someone walking around with a bad weave I think, "Do you want long hair so badly that you would rather walk around looking how you look, rather than show your own hair?"  It fascinates me.

I saw Chris Rock's movie, Good Hair which skimmed this issue. I know it was a comedic documentary, but I wish that he had just interviewed women wearing wigs, (which doesn't really bother me), and with weaves and just said..."Why? Why?"

People should do what they want with their hair whether keeping it natural, relaxing it, braiding it, wigging it, locking it or weaving it, and if these women with bad weaves think their hair looks good, we all would be better to have their confidence.  Let's just say I'll take an order of extreme confidence, hold the bad weave.

Save the Date - Shayla's Birthday

It's one month away from my birthday!

Save the Date - Shayla's Birthday

Pizza Tour and Cupcakes

Yesterday I went on a food tour.  For those of you who know me, I've been going on food tours for the past three or fours years.  These tours involve trips around the city going to different restaurants to taste a particular food. My favorite tours have been Bronx Pizza Tour, Brooklyn Pizza Tour and Hot Dogs, which is no surprise because these are some of my favorite foods. So when DT (the friend who organizes the tour) said he was doing a pizza tour...I was in. Originally it was 5 boroughs, but going to and fro from Staten Island is a time suck, so that borough was scrapped and it became a 4 borough tour.  But by the time the tour was fully under way, it was clear that the MTA's weekend track work and schedule changes meant that the Bronx had to be cut, so it was a 3 borough tour with 2 stops in Manhattan.

We had a pepperoni pizza at Sac's in Queens...good crust and cheese, a lot sauce, but I think it needed something. Basil? Oregano?  I can't place what was needed.  But it was a good solid pie.

Then we were off to Franny's in Brooklyn...I didn't get the best vibe from the staff here.  The bartender took FOREVER to take a fellow food tourist's espresso order and the place was FAR from packed.  Then this place had one of those, "is your whole party here?" rules, which I hate.  If I have a party of 4 and 3 of us are here, just seat us.  If we said we were three you would seat us at the same table, so why are you wasting our time by having us wait.  Hell, we probably would order more if you let us sit down!  Anyway, despite that, this place had what I thought were the best of the tour. I liked the pizza with Prosciutto Cotto, Caciocavallo, Onions and Marinated Peppers.  I was shocked because I normally don't go for prosciutto, but this was a thicker, a more ham-like cut.  DELICIOUS!

The last stop for me, before I took myself back to Mt. V to do the Wii, was Keste in the West Village.  Unlike Sac's and Franny's, this place considers itself a pizzeria, where the other two were Italian restaurants offering pasta and other entrees.  We ordered the Keste and Salume pizzas.  The Keste had prosciutto, arugula and gran cru cheese, in addition to tomato sauce and buffalo mozzarella cheese.  The Salume had salami.  This place had the best crust, but otherwise I wasn't wowed.  I didn't like the prosciutto and the salami was fine, but not outstanding.  However, I don't think I've ever had a salami pizza.

In between Franny's and Keste, we took a little break to see if anyone else was going to be going us and it was during this break that I spotted Molly's Cupcakes on Bleeker Street. While hot dogs and pizza are some of my favorite foods, cupcakes are definitely a favorite dessert, so I knew I was going to sample them.  DT asked if I wanted to check any yelp reviews before my purchase, but I said, no.  I don't need to read reviews to try cupcakes...if I see it, I'll try it. In I went and I saw they had special cupcakes like Pumpkin Spice, Creme Brulee, and Peach Cobbler, and the "normal" cupcakes where you choose your cake and frosting.  I decided to get three make my own cupcakes and one special cupcake.  My three normal were carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, red velvet cake with butter cream frosting, and vanilla cake with vanilla (sugar) frosting.  For the special cupcake I chose the Birthday Cake.  I didn't really notice a description, but I clearly saw the price tag...$3.75!  I thought "This cupcake better be good."

So after doing my Wii for an hour I decided to sample the cupcakes, starting with the Birthday Cake.  I noticed that the cupcake felt really heavy...not necessarily a bad thing, but usually means that it's a bit dense. Then I took the wrapper off and saw what looked like batter in the bottom of it. Ummm...what?!?  Is this thing not cooked?  I realized that what makes Birthday Cake special is that the cupcake is filled with Cake Batter.  I didn't know how to feel about that because raw cake batter can make you sick and I don't mind licking it off the spoon, but filling a cupcake with it?  Well, the verdict is, I don't really like it.  I only ate half of the cupcake and I didn't think the batter added much to the flavor of the cake on the whole, plus it was too runny. Cake batter in a cupcake doesn't work... I don't need to be reminded about what it tastes like and it does not make me think BIRTHDAY! On my birthdays I liked a basic yellow cake with sweet sugary frosting...usually chocolate, not butter cream.  On a basic level, the cake was moist, and while the texture of the frosting was nice, the flavor was bland and not at all what I would expect for a birthday cake.

Next up was Vanilla cake with Vanilla frosting.  Again, the cake was moist, but I think it was a little rich and yet not flavorful.  I think my stomach even felt a little queasy afterwards...it probably was that damn cake batter.

Tonight I decided to try the last two flavors...Carrot cake with Cream Cheese frosting and Red Velvet with Butter cream frosting.

The carrot cake, like the others, was moist.  I think it's safe to say that Molly's doesn't produce a dry cupcake.  But the flecks of carrot were barely noticeable and didn't taste better than a box.  The frosting gave you that true cream cheese flavor, but a good frosting isn't going to make a mediocre cake better.

And finally the "It" cupcake...Red Velvet.  I'm not on the Red Velvet bandwagon, but when I'm trying a new cupcake place I get a red velvet.  Shockingly, the red velvet cupcake and the frosting were the best.  I was a little nervous, because the red was a little light -- I'm accustomed to darker.  But the hint of cocoa was there and the cake was sweet.  I think when I said the cakes were bland, I think I meant that they weren't sweet enough.  And because the red velvet was sweet (as a cupcake should be), a light butter cream was the perfect compliment.

When I try four cupcakes and only one, my least favorite kind of cupcake, gets high marks, I know that I don't need to make a special trip to Molly's. But I will gladly go back to any of the pizza places...who's treating?

Let Go

For three days I've been bruised and sore from a night of fighting...fighting with the pole.  That's right, I've started taking pole dancing lessons.

I took my first class a few years ago at S Factor.  They were all about loving your body, feeling sexy and having a positive body image.  At one point an instructor said, "We love our asses, don't we Shayla?!?"  And I wanted to laugh because I'm not lacking in body confidence and hearing that while doing hip circles and sticking out our butts was too much.  So that wasn't the place for me.

Then I did an intro class at New York Pole Dancing a few months ago for my friend Marsha's 30th Birthday. This was a fun class where we learned a routine, with a spin and climbing sequence. Check out our video, I'm closest to the window in the front row.

We also learned how to give a lap dance.  My "boyfriend" will certainly be happy with the skills that I picked up in lap dance area. :) I would take classes at New York Pole, but classes don't come cheap, so when LivingSocial offered a deal ($35 for 5 Intro Classes) at Le Femme Suite in Harlem, Marsha and I signed up.

We took our first class two weeks ago and I was all bruised from that class too.  Just as those bruises were healing, we took our second class on Wednesday. Since Marsha and I had been with this instructor before,  she showed us a new spin and I was eager to attempt it.  I can't really describe it, except to say that I had to kind of fall backwards with my right leg lifted and then my left leg ends up around the pole and I spin.  Well, I really wasn't getting it and the idea of falling backwards scared me. Marsha and the instructor would be encouraging as I was close to doing it correctly, but then I would stop myself because it didn't feel right. The instructor said I needed to just "Let Go."

Let Go.

This isn't the first time that I have heard that I just need to stop thinking and let go.  Everyone from a foot masseuse to the chiropractor to my swim instructor have said some version of "let go." Relax. Release the tension. Breathe.

When it comes to activities, I need to learn and feel comfortable before I do something. It's true, I don't just throw myself head first into anything, especially something that could hurt me.  But what I realize is that I don't hesitate to try.  I might not get it right away, but try I will.  And if I end up bruised and sore from things that do feel comfortable, why should I be so eager to do something that could have worse consequences?  I'm not interesting in really being hurt all for the sake of letting go.

However, I'll accept that bruises, soreness and some hurt are apart of pole dancing and life.  Yep, I'm making a connection to life. Lately I've been feeling bruised and sore from situations at work, in the past I've felt hurt from dating and friendships. And truthfully, things do resolve once I let go. This isn't to say that I don't think about the situation, sometimes for weeks, days or maybe even for a few minutes. But eventually I let go...stop taking things personally, stop caring, stop thinking about it and just do my own thing.  The key is that I do all of this on my own time...when I'm ready.

So I watched people giggling and laughing as they tried the new spin and I would laugh as I would stop myself and my hands went awry and I was lifting the wrong leg.  But after I had thoroughly failed, I grabbed the pole, fell backwards and sure enough, I was spinning.