Let Go

For three days I've been bruised and sore from a night of fighting...fighting with the pole.  That's right, I've started taking pole dancing lessons.

I took my first class a few years ago at S Factor.  They were all about loving your body, feeling sexy and having a positive body image.  At one point an instructor said, "We love our asses, don't we Shayla?!?"  And I wanted to laugh because I'm not lacking in body confidence and hearing that while doing hip circles and sticking out our butts was too much.  So that wasn't the place for me.

Then I did an intro class at New York Pole Dancing a few months ago for my friend Marsha's 30th Birthday. This was a fun class where we learned a routine, with a spin and climbing sequence. Check out our video, I'm closest to the window in the front row.

We also learned how to give a lap dance.  My "boyfriend" will certainly be happy with the skills that I picked up in lap dance area. :) I would take classes at New York Pole, but classes don't come cheap, so when LivingSocial offered a deal ($35 for 5 Intro Classes) at Le Femme Suite in Harlem, Marsha and I signed up.

We took our first class two weeks ago and I was all bruised from that class too.  Just as those bruises were healing, we took our second class on Wednesday. Since Marsha and I had been with this instructor before,  she showed us a new spin and I was eager to attempt it.  I can't really describe it, except to say that I had to kind of fall backwards with my right leg lifted and then my left leg ends up around the pole and I spin.  Well, I really wasn't getting it and the idea of falling backwards scared me. Marsha and the instructor would be encouraging as I was close to doing it correctly, but then I would stop myself because it didn't feel right. The instructor said I needed to just "Let Go."

Let Go.

This isn't the first time that I have heard that I just need to stop thinking and let go.  Everyone from a foot masseuse to the chiropractor to my swim instructor have said some version of "let go." Relax. Release the tension. Breathe.

When it comes to activities, I need to learn and feel comfortable before I do something. It's true, I don't just throw myself head first into anything, especially something that could hurt me.  But what I realize is that I don't hesitate to try.  I might not get it right away, but try I will.  And if I end up bruised and sore from things that do feel comfortable, why should I be so eager to do something that could have worse consequences?  I'm not interesting in really being hurt all for the sake of letting go.

However, I'll accept that bruises, soreness and some hurt are apart of pole dancing and life.  Yep, I'm making a connection to life. Lately I've been feeling bruised and sore from situations at work, in the past I've felt hurt from dating and friendships. And truthfully, things do resolve once I let go. This isn't to say that I don't think about the situation, sometimes for weeks, days or maybe even for a few minutes. But eventually I let go...stop taking things personally, stop caring, stop thinking about it and just do my own thing.  The key is that I do all of this on my own time...when I'm ready.

So I watched people giggling and laughing as they tried the new spin and I would laugh as I would stop myself and my hands went awry and I was lifting the wrong leg.  But after I had thoroughly failed, I grabbed the pole, fell backwards and sure enough, I was spinning.

It's April...err...September

I thought showers were supposed to happen in April, not September.  Between Hurricane Irene and apparently left over rain from Hurricane Lee? (no one really mentioned it on the news) September has been a really rainy month.  I know it's only the 8th, but three days of rain is really a bit much for me to handle.  The only thing that has been good is the fact that I got rain boots!

I've noticed recently how rain boots are fashionable again.  I remember having a pair of galoshes when I was in kindergarten. They were low and there was a band that hooked over a button.  I think there was a button and a band because they went over my shoes, where as the ones that most people are wearing these days are not worn over shoes but are the shoe.  Anyway, I had been searching for a pair for a while.  What I noticed was that my big legs could not tolerate the high boots...the ones that go over the calf.  And lower boots weren't in high supply.  Also rain boots, even though they are just rubber, can be pretty expensive.  So when I found this pair at Macy's for 11 bucks on Monday I grabbed them! Who knew that they would come in handy so soon?

I just love looking down at my feet.  The day may be rainy and dreary, but seeing this cute pattern, feeling the freedom of my calves and knowing I got the boots I had been searching for a steal makes me happy!

Shoes and other things...

I was walking around work today in shoes and thought, I'm going to blog about shoes.  Lately I've gotten into a very bad habit of wearing my sneakers all day.  The attire at my job is business casual, so sneakers shouldn't be apart of my wardrobe equation. But  I workout right before work, and then have a bit of a walk/train/bus ride, so wearing shoes doesn't make sense to me.  I feel like I'm still commuting and in my mind, commuting means sneakers.  Yet, when I get to work, I just haven't felt motivated to change my shoes.  So I could have on a lovely dress and when you look at my feet...sneakers!

It was today that I decided to wear with my outfit one of the three pairs of shoes that I keep at my desk.  I had on a black button-down shirt with ruffles, dark denim-like pants and for my shoes I chose my red and black flats with black piping.  My outfit was rather smart, if I do say so myself..simple and classic with, as everyone seems to say these days, "a pop of color." My hair was freshly done and flowing and I really felt I looked nice. I began to think, how could I not wear shoes every day? I will wear shoes and not sneakers from now on at work!

Anyway, I was feeling good and I decided to do another thing that I rarely do...leave my desk for lunch. I grabbed my bag, brought my book and took a quick ride down to 96th to browse Home Goods and Modell's.  Strolling outside, the glow of the sun made my outfit even better. Really...it did.  I caught my reflection in the window and thought, "Nice...very nice."  Then, confirmation. This man in Home Goods said shook my had and said, "You look very nice Miss."  I thanked him and thought, "I knew it!"

On my way home, I changed back into my sneakers and left the shoes under my desk because I was in commuter mode once again.  I stood on the platform and noticed this man looking at me, so I immediately diverted my attention because I didn't want to talk.  But I turned in his direction to see if the train was coming and he took his opportunity to say hello, asked my about the book I'm reading, (The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks btw) and then he did what I call "The Run Down."  "What do you do?" "Do you have a husband?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" My answers... "Fundraising." "No" "Yes."  He followed up and said, that I was a nice-looking lady and that if my BF isn't acting right, that I should call him. I did my obligatory chuckle and made sure we didn't get in the same car when the subway came.

As I rode my one stop, I thought about all the times when I've said I had a boyfriend and didn't. And I know all women have made one up, but just when is this boyfriend that I'm pretending to have going to materialize? And the other thing I thought was, sneakers or shoes, I looked really nice today.  :)

Blogging and Blogs

If you're one of the few people who check my blog periodically, you probably notice that I don't really blog that much, and that may have deterred you from checking more regularly. But for some reason August has been a banner month for me.  I don't know why. I guess I've felt I had the time to write something (or finish old posts), and that I've had something to say. I've gotten away from needing to have an elaborate or funny story to tell...though I do have an old story that I've been asked to share, and will.  I've also always thought my posts needed to be long but they don't.  Freedom from these self-imposed restrictions has got me blogging a little bit more.

Anyway, I was talking with Maya yesterday and she said she was looking for some good blogs to read...we're both taking a break from Facebook until September, so I guess you could say we have a little more time on our hands for other internet pursuits.  I asked her about how she finds blogs and said that was part of the problem, searching for them.  I don't really follow blogs and those that I do browse are usually by people I know, but I looked at my blogger dashboard and realized that I did actually decide to follow one random blog a few months ago.

Stuff by Nicole by Nicole Alesi

Nicole is an illustrator and when I sent my 30th birthday evite via pingg, I chose one of her designs because I felt it totally captured my vibe and spirit.  Here is a picture of the girl who was on the e-card. It's retro me!  Purple dress...cake...yes!

I think her stuff is cool.  It's modern, but she also has a retro vibe and I love that the people in her illustrations are diverse. Her blog features pieces and series that she's working on and highlights new items in her store on etsy.  Check her out!  And if anyone wants to commission her to do a triptych of Shayla illustrations, please feel free. Don't forget, I've got a new place with lots of empty walls. :)

Realizations

So it's Sunday and I have just survived Hurricane Irene. I decided to go over to my parents' place, rather than be along in mine should the worst happen, but honestly, with the exception of the constant TV news footage blaring in the background and infiltrating my dreams, this just felt like a normal storm.  Anyway, it was before and during this storm that I had a bunch of realizations.

It's almost September.
I got my train pass in the mail and couldn't believe that September is a few days away.  I'm no longer in school, but September always feels like the "start." It also means that I need to get my fall vacation plans in the works.

Cooking is not so bad.
I do like trying recipes...shocking. Forcing myself to cook every week made cooking easier.  I'm experimenting and cooking (not just baking) for others. I've made dinner for daddy a few times and earlier this month I made a balsamic marinade, which I used on chicken breast that I then grilled and prepared a BLT pasta salad for a picnic date...yes, a date DATE.

I like watching food shows, but I think I'm tired of celebrity chefs.
The way that people talk about celebrity chefs is really too much.  I watch shows on Fox, Food Network, Bravo and I think the amateur/not known chefs and contestants are talking about how great these celebrity chefs are and know they haven't tasted their food.  And let me say, I've been to a few restaurants owned by celebrity chefs and rarely have been WOWed.

I think wearing thongs/g-strings with jeans is ridiculous.
I saw a woman at the gym and she was slipping on her jeans over a thong. Why do women do that?  Denim is the one fabric that is so tough that you don't even really need to worry about panty lines.  Denim is so tough that if you have a wedgie it's hard to pull out. BTW, I think g-strings and thongs basically should be called wedgies because that's how they feel.  And denim is so tough, that stitchings create bumps that could cause friction. Friction is not good and a little ol' thong provides no barrier, and may cause some other issues...ladies, I think you get my drift.

I feel embarrassed for the people who have to stand behind public officials during press conferences and briefings.
With the additional conferences from mayors, governors and other elected officials about the Hurricane, I've been noticing the people who stand behind them. For some reason, I just feel embarrassed for them.  I don't know why I feel embarrassed, but I do. I just imagine myself having to stand there and look interested and not scratch an itch or cough, knowing that I'm not going to say anything. I also imagine that they feel excited to be on TV and then I feel bad that they are excited by that. Sometimes it's clear who they are, for example the fire commissioner and the police commissioner. But who are are the other people? Why are they there?  Who tells them where to stand?  And if there are more than two or three standing back there, why? Do ten people need to stand huddled close together behind the public official? The official needs that much back up? Embarrassing.

So there you have it...five realizations courtesy of Hurricane Irene and only one semi-related to the great Hurricane.

Amateur Bakers' Code of Ethics***

One of the custodians at work was going around the office selling his cupcakes for a dollar. And I must say, as someone who bakes and brings in my goodies as a treat for my co-workers, I was turned off by his impromptu bake sale. 

First he started off by giving us a sample. Not a whole cupcake or a mini cupcake, but a 1/4 of a cupcake...Carrot/Apple Cake with a Maple Cream Cheese frosting.  I'm not one to pass up a free sample, but it didn't wow me. The cake was fine, but the frosting was too thin and I couldn't taste the maple flavoring, and I gave him this feedback.  He informed us that from now on, Friday would be "CUPCAKE FRIDAY"!

Friday rolls around, he comes up to my floor and starts bellowing, "Cupcake Friday...get your cupcakes!"And people bought them!  I was shocked.  I couldn't believe that people would just pay a dollar for this man's baked goods.  A dollar that wasn't benefiting a charity or his daughter's school, but was just going into his pocket. The next week he brought cupcakes on Thursday, in addition to Friday. This time the cupcakes were strawberry and people raved, said the frosting tasted like ice cream. Then on Friday he made blueberry ones that weren't baked very well and he knew it AND he said it, so he reduced the price to 75 cents. And my co-workers STILL bought them.  They complained about the taste and everything...so I had to say, "Why did you buy them?!? He said they didn't come out the way he intended."  No response from my co-workers.  I think Cupcake Friday carried on for a few more weeks and then it fizzled without a peep, probably because his sales weren't more than his expenses.

Here's what I feel.  I think Amateur bakers should not, on the whole, charge for their treats.  It's one thing if someone asks you to make a cake for a special event or bake a pie for a holiday, but charging for a cupcake (or any small baked good) is just inappropriate and ridiculous to me.  Bake and share because you you were experimenting and want feedback.  Bake and share because you have more than you need to eat.  Bake and share because you just want to give your colleagues a sugar boost.  But please fellow amateur bakers, don't just charge to make a quick buck off your colleagues.

***I started this post in April and am just finishing in August. Better late than never!

Reasons Why I Go to the Gym...***

As many of you know, I'm a gym-goer.  Sure I workout a bit in my house because I got a Wii fit, but typically five days of the week before work I hit the treadmills and pump iron at New York Sports Club.  Going to the gym is part of my routine and for the most part I go to stay fit and for general well-being. 

But I'll admit, at times my motivation for staying fit has shifted. I saw one of the Bourne movies and Matt Damon was running.  I think he was running across the beach and I thought, "Yeah, I should be able to run like that in case someone was after me."  Why I would think someone would be after me or that I should have the physical capabilities of trained assassin didn't factor in to my reasoning, I just thought I should be able to run.  Well, even though I have been working out consistently, I still can't run for too long and kind of hate jogging.  But when I'm short on time and need to dash through Grand Central or across 125th in order to catch my train...I can do it!

But I've learned that my going to the gym is all about being strong enough and having enough endurance to do random stuff...like walk from Pier 1 Store to Union Square subway station through the station and down the stairs to the 6 train to up the stairs through Grand Central to get on the New Haven Line train to Mount Vernon with a heavy mirrored dining room table base.  Or to walk across 125th in the rain with a 5x7 wool rug. As you can tell, in both instances I was carrying two items that are needed for my (still primarily empty) home.

So being able to do a 5K, a pull up, push ups and all that stuff is great, but being about to save some dough on cabs and movers because I'm fit (and frugal) enough is even better.

***I started this post in May and am just finishing in August. ahahahaha